A Portrait for Christmas
The scene is
downtown Jerusalem
in the year 28 A.D. Portrait artist,
Julius Piso greets a customer who has just entered his studio…..
“Greetings,
Peter, and what brings you on this day of the winter solstice? Surely you have no complaints about the
portrait I did of your fishing boat? You
must understand, the boat did bobble up and down a bit, especially during the
shifting of the tides…..you have no complaints?
You think I did a fine job? Well then, what can I do for you? Yes, I’m free. You want a small size portrait done of a man, and it’s to
be a birthday present? No problem. When can he come in for a sitting...oh? It’s to be a surprise? But I have to see him in order to...You’re
going to describe him for me? That might work.
“Let us begin with his height, how tall is he?
Taller than a mountain…uh, we’ll just let that go for the moment. Now, what kind of toga do you want painted on
him? I will furnish the costume, I’ve
got the latest fashions from Greece…you
want it simple and plain? Do you know
how hard it is to paint simple and plain?
The toga will appear flat. If there are no designs or patterns it will
lay flat and uninteresting. He doesn’t
care? Okay, flat and drab it is.
“Now, give me a
general description of the man, and please, don’t say he’s taller than a
mountain. No…wise beyond his years doesn’t help either. I need to know the color of his skin, his eyes,
his hair; his approximate age, does he have high cheek bones, is he short or
tall, fat or thin, is his face broad or narrow?...You never noticed? I thought
you said he was a friend of yours?
“Is he a fellow
fisherman? No? A fish monger,
perhaps? No? A carpenter you say…but-he-doesn’t-do-carpentry-work-any-more. Well then, what does he do? He stands on top
of a hill and does lectures? On what?
How-to-be-kind to-your-neighbors-and-love-one-another? That’s his
shtick, huh? My advice, Peter, being a
friend to such a man…in these times can be dangerous to you and your family.
“No offense, Peter, but am I going to be paid
for this? Yes, cash would be fine. Now, can we get back to describing him? He has
a great smile? I shouldn’t wonder. He radiates love and kindness? I can’t paint radiance; the best I can do is a
halo over his head. Yes, it’s a symbol
of purity, and if you want, I’ll add it with no charge. He must be a very special friend. Oh, he’s everybody’s special friend?
“Tell you what
I’ll do. I’ll just paint a perfect face
and you can put in the corrections. Don’t think it’ll need any? Well, great. By
the way, what‘s his first name? What a
coincidence, my nephew is also named Jesus, small world, but then again, it’s
quite a popular name these days.
“Now then, if
there’s nothing else, it should be ready by the 25th. That’s the date you wanted it, right? Nice doing business with you, Peter. And by the way, have a very, very MERRY
CHRISTMAS! ….No, I have absolutely no idea why I said that!!...No, I don’t know
what it means either. But, just in case
somebody’s listening, hail Tiberius, our beloved Emperor, conquer of the Goths,
the Jews, and anybody else in between.
