More Insights from Senator Bushton
This is the third in the series of interviews with the Independent candidate for the Presidency of the United States of America, the Junior Senator from Bumpkin, Maine, Senator William Bushton.

       
       As you have requested, Senator, we have informed the readers that none of these questions were given to you beforehand. Now, can we proceed with the interview?

       I HAVE NO PROBLUM WITH THAT.  FIRE AWAY!

        In an earlier statement, you mention a proposal for a free college education for those who qualify?  Could you expound on that?

       THIS IS ONLY TO COUNTER THE CORPERATE CONSPIRACY THAT IS RAISING THE COST OF COLLEGE BY NOT  PAYING MORE TAXES TO SUPPLIMENT HIGHER PUBLIC EDUCATION .  AT PRESENT, ONLY THE CHILDREN OF THE ELITE RICH AND THE UPPER MIDDLE CLASS  CAN REALLY AFFORD PUBLIC AND PRIVATE COLLEGES.

        Isn’t that a bit far fetching?  A corporate conspiracy to raise the cost of college?  To what end?

         IF THE COST OF COLLEGE IS TOO GREAT FOR THE AVERAGE HOUSEHOLD, WE WILL FALL SHORT OF HAVING COLLEGE GRADUATES TO FILL VACANT POSITIONS IN CORPORATE AMERICA.  WE WOULD, THEN, HAVE TO IMPORT TALENTED COLLEGE GRADUATES WHO RECEIVED A FREE EDUCATION FROM COUNTRIES WHO HAD TO PAY HIGHER TAXES TO GIVE THEM THAT FREE EDUCATION TO SERVICE US.  BY US, I MEAN OUR CORPERATIONS.  THESE FOREIGNERS COME OVER HERE TO WORK FOR US FOR A LOT LESS AND WE (MOSTLY THE RICH WE’S) WON'T HAVE TO RAISE OUR TAXES TO REPAIR OUR OWN EDUCATIONAL SHORTCOMINGS.  WE GOT THESE IMPORTED, HIGHLY TRAINED  PROFESSIONALS…FOR FREE.   NOT A BAD DEAL FOR  CORPERATIONS AND THE WEALTHY.

      I must admit that, in a crazy sort of way, it makes sense.  Now, another very important question…if elected president, what would be your solution to the problems of the Middle East?

        WHY?  IS THERE A PROBLEM?

        Of course there is.  There is civil war in Syria: hundreds of thousands of civilians are uprooted, dying, migrating to strange lands and being unwelcomed.  There is the infusion of Russian influence, the rise of ISIS, and the danger of anarchy spreading over the entire Middle East.  I would think we have a problem.

        LET ME REPHRASE THAT QUESTION.  WHY IS THAT A PROBLEM…FOR US?

      What do you mean?  Of course it’s a problem for us.

       NO, IT’S A PROBLEM FOR EUROPE, FOR RUSSIA, FOR CHINA, AND FOR THE ENTIRE MIDDLE EAST.  YOU FORGET, THEY ARE ALL, AS A LAND MASS, CONNECTED TOGETHER.  HISTORICALLY, CHINA IS NOT FRIENDLY WITH RUSSIA AND DISTRUST THEM MORE THAN US.  THEY DO NOT LIKE RUSSIA SPREADING THEIR INFLUENCE IN THE WORLD.  AND, WHEN GLOBAL WARMING BRINGS ON THE FAMINE, NORTH KOREA WILL HAVE TO FEED THEIR HUGE MILTARY…AND GUESS WHO THEY HAVE AS A COMMON BORDER AND A DESIRED BREAD BASKET.  NOT US.  YOU DON’T THINK AN OCEAN IS A LOGISTICAL NIGHT MARE?  ASK ANY MILITARY BUFF.  AND IF WE DON’T STAY OUT OF THE MIDDLE EAST, IT WILL BECOME OUR PROBLEM. 
     
        OUR PROBLEM IS THOSE SLIGHT-OF-HAND PEOPLE IN THE TOP 1% WHO WANTS TO DIVERT OUR ATTENTION FROM WHAT IS REALLY CONFRONTING OUR COUNTRY: HIGH POVERTY LEVEL, INEQUAILITY OF WEALTH, AND INFUSION OF DRUGS FROM SOUTH AMERICA.  THERE IS RACIAL TURMOIL THROUGHOUT THE LAND AND EXTREME UNDER EMPLOYMENT OF  MILLIONS WITH AN I.Q. UNDER 100, WHICH, BY THE WAY, IS HALF OF OUR POPULATION.  THAT IS OUR PROBLEM, NOT THE PROBLEMS OF THE MIDDLE EAST.

         What about Putin arming the Syrians and keeping Assad in power, and the possible confrontation with Russia?

        AS I HAVE MENTION EARLIER, HOW CAN THEY CONFRONT US IF WE’RE NOT THERE TO BE CONFRONTED?  ASSAD MAY BE BRUTAL BUT HAVEN’T WE TOLERATED WORST DICTATORS?   THINK STALIN, MAO, AND KIM JONG U.  TRUE, PUTIN IS RAISING RUSSIA’S INFLUENCE IN SYRIA, BUT AT WHAT COST?   HE IS BLEEDING HIS NATION DRY AND SPILLING THEIR BLOOD AND GUTS TO STABLILIZE THAT AREA AND WE SHOULD BE COMPLANING?  WE SHOULD GIVE HIM A MEDAL.  IF I’M ELECTED, THE FIRST THING I WOULD DO IS MEET THIS GUY BECAUSE I TRULY LIKE HIM.  HE IS CHARMING AND  WE WILL BE FRIENDS.  TOGETHER WE WILL PUT THE WORLD ETERNALLY AT PEACE BECAUSE WE HAVE LARGE AMOUNTS OF ATOMIC WEAPONS, AND IF THEY DON’T LISTEN, WE WILL HIT THEM…HARD         

      You truly believe this?

      YOU ARE SKECPTICAL?  WELL, I DON’T BLAME YOU, SEEING HOW NAÏVE YOU REPORTERS GENERALLY ARE.  LET ME FILL YOU IN.  WHEN BUSH JR. INVADED IRAQ, HE FORGOT ALL ABOUT THE LESSONS LEARNED FROM VIET NAM.  WELL, I HAVEN’T FORGOTTEN.  AND PUTTING AMERICAN  BOOTS ON THE GROUND TO DEFEAT ISIS WILL BE COSTLY.  THE WHOLE MIDDLE EAST WILL BE COSTLY…BUT NOT FOR US IF WE STAY OUT OF IT.  I SAY, LET US BE OBSERVERS, NOT PARTICIPANTS.  FOR US TO BE THERE IS A NO-WIN SITUATION.  WHEN THE DUST SETTLES, AND IT WILL, THEN WE MOVE IN TO THESE DEVASTATED AREAS AND TRY TO REBUILD WITH JOBS, EXPORTS, AND A SOUND, DEMOCRATIC GOVERNMENT BACKED BY GOOD, SOLID AMERICAN SOLDIERS.  WHAT COULD BE BETTER?  MAKES SENSE, NO?   IF I’M ELECTED PRESIDENT OF THESE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, I WILL CONVINCE THE AMERICAN PUBLIC TO SEE THE VIRTUE OF THIS STRATEGY AND WE WILL ALL BE THE BENIFICIARY OF, WHAT I WOULD TERM, “THE BUSHTON POLICY”.

        Your simplistic solutions to complex problems sound a lot like that of another conservative candidate for the presidency.  And I am referring to a certain owner of a hotel chain.

        ARE YOU REFERRING TO DONALD TRUMP?  YOU KNOW, HE IS JUST LIKE ME, A NO NONSENSE GUY WHO WILL GET THE JOB DONE..ALTHOUGH,  MAKING MONEY IS THE ONLY THING HE IS GOOD AT, REALLY.  IF I’M ELECTED, I WILL MAKE HIM SECRETARY OF THE TREASURY. 

       Speaking of money, Senator, what is your tax plan if you’re elected?

       I’M GLAD YOU ASK.  I WILL SIMPLIFY THE TAX CODE. ANNUAL INCOME OF CORPORATIONS AND INDIVIDUAL OVER A MILLION DOLLARS WILL BE TAXED AT 50%.  ANYTHING OVER A HUNDRED THOUSAND WILL BE TAXED AT 25%.  THOSE MAKING HALF OF THAT, 15%.  ANY BODY MAKING LESS SHOULDN’T BE ALLOWED TO LIVE IN THIS GREAT COUNTRY OF OURS AND WILL BE EXILED...BY FORCE, IF NECESSARY.

       Now, I know you’re kidding.

      AM I?

      What about capital gains and deductions for charity giving?

       WE DON’T GO DOWN THAT ROAD.

        Won’t there be quite a bit of opposition to that proposal from the top 1%?

        MOST OF THE TOP 1% ARE PARASITES.  THEY INHERITED THEIR GREAT FORTUNES AND DID LITTLE TO EARN IT.  WE NEED STRONG LEADERS WHO ARE NOT AFRAID OF THEM, WHO WILL RAISE TAXES ON THESE PARASITES AND ELIVIATE POVERTY AND INEQUALITY.  WHAT THIS NATION NEEDS IS FIRM LEADERSHIP AND THAT IS WHAT I WILL DO, IF I’M ELECTED… TO LEAD…FIRMLY      

              And by the way, where do you get your figures from?

       HERE AND THERE, SOME I MADE UP ON THE WAY.  IF TRUMP CAN DO IT, SO CAN I.

        What is your position on immigration?

        I LOVE ALL IMMIGRANTS, ESPECIALLY MEXICANS AND ORIENTALS, WHO I THINK ARE TRUSTWORTHY AND HARD WORKING.  I HAVE THREE OF THEM WORKING AT MY HOME RIGHT NOW.  I HAVE A CHINESE NANNY FOR MY KIDS, MY HOUSEKEEPER IS A MEXICAN-AMERICAN, AND SO IS MY GARDENER.  FINE PEOPLE, ALL OF THEM, AND, OH, AND I MUST INCLUDE THE MEXICANS WHO JUST RECENTLY INSTALLED MY ROOF AND DUG THE TRENCHES FOR THE NEW SEWER LINE TO MY HOUSE…        

Were all the people working on your roof and sewer line, Espanics?

        HMMM..I THINK SO.  I LIKE THOSE WORKERS BECAUSE THEY NEVER COMPLAIN ABOUT THE LOW PAY OR THE HARD WORK.  MY CHINESE NANNY, FOR INSTANCE, DOES COOKING FOR US, ON THE SIDE, AND NEVER COMPLAINS ABOUT THE EXTRA UNPAID HOURS.  MAYBE IT’S BECAUSE SHE HARDLY SPEAKS ENGLISH?  I HONESTLY DON’T KNOW.  THOSE PEOPLE ARE SO OBEDIENT.  OF COURSE, ANY LEFT OVERS, WE LET HER TAKE HOME TO HER FAMILY.

        Are those people employed by you, in this country legally?

         OF COURSE THEY ARE…UH…I THINK SO...I HAVE NO IDEA.  I ADVERTISED IN THE DAILY PAPERS AND THEY SHOWED UP, PRESUMEABLY LEGAL AND MORE THAN WILLING.  BESIDES, MY WIFE TAKES CARE OF ALL THAT.  I GIVE PEOPLE BADLY NEEDED EMPLOYMENT.  NON-MINORITIES ALSO APPLIED BUT THEY DIDN’T EXPRESS MUCH ENTHUSASIM.  I THINK THEY WERE OFFENDED AT THE SALARY OFFERED.   I THOUGHT IT WAS MORE THAN FAIR.

       Then you are for immigration policy as it is now stands?  And would you be for illegals having their children here for citizenship purposes only?

        SURE, WHY NOT?  WE GOT TONS OF ROOM.  WE HAVE A FEW BAD APPLES IN THAT GROUP, I’M SURE, BUT THEN, WE HAVE A LOT OF BAD APPLES THAT DECENDED FROM THOSE IMMIGRANT PARENTS THAT LANDED ON PLYMOUTH ROCK AWHILE BACK.   I DON’T SEE TOO MANY OF US COMPLAINING ABOUT THEM.  BESIDES, WHAT WITH OUR HORRENDOUS DIVORCE AND LOW BIRTH RATES, WE COULD USE NEW BLOOD IN THIS COUNTRY OF OURS.

         I cannot comment on that.  I’m only a reporter.  I know it’s been a very long day for you, Senator Bushton, so here is my last question, which is politically innocuous for you to answer.  The question is, what do you consider the most important invention of the 20^th century?

      INDOOR PLUMBING. 

      Thank you again, senator, for your thoughtful insights. 

 

      

      

        

 



     



  



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