My Fairy Godmother is Dead

                                             My Fairy Godmother is Dead

        Did you know that Jesus wasn't an only child?  In fact two of his brothers helped write the New Testament.  To top it off, the majority of the authors never interviewed him; maybe because...they never met the Man?  So a lot that was ever written about Him was all supposition.  One of the major authors of the New Testament, Saint Mark, was only a child when he saw Jesus, and only from a distant.  Saint Paul met Jesus' but only as a ghost.  Scared the hell out of him. It was a dark night, you see, and he was all alone.

        I discovered this unsettling fact when I did some research to prepare for my first Sunday school class.  I was just past my teen-age years and the pastor volunteered me because I looked like a Neanderthal who could frighten uncivilized nine- year-olds to keep their seats.  

         But, getting back to the New Testament, it's not that what the Biblical authors said were true or false, but I was disappointed that Jesus never went on record to verified the quotes attributed to Him while he was preaching (because most of the authors never met the man and therefore no verification?. ...oh, I already said that). Regardless, I still had faith.  I believed in fairy godmothers who are always watching over us.

        

         It wasn't the same for the tooth fairy.  I really believed until I was the age of six when I caught my mom slipping the coin under my pillow when she thought I was asleep.  It shook my belief in tooth fairies and dragons in closets.  I blame her for the neurosis that I developed later in life.  She was a caring and a loving parent, the kind that, when I was still in high school, would iron my Levis even after I told her not to.  The bullies just zeroed in on me. 

         Not that I have lost faith in my fairy godmother when Trump was elected president (being a f--king moron doesn't disqualify you).  He’s just being a run-of-the-mill normal human being showing enough empathy to get elected, but not enough to offend groups such as the NRA.  Don’t think for a moment that we humans are more caring and loving than other species.  I’ve seen blue jays feeding their babies and cleaning their nest by putting in their mouths the baby’s excrement (shit) and spitting it out over the edge of the nest.  Can we humans top that?             

        Yet, I was sorely tested when I found out that this corporate giant, Facebook, without my permission, has publicized the date of my birthday, and telling everyone to wish me a happy birthday.  If some nameless persons forget to e-mail a birthday greeting, or the greeting is lost in the cloud, wouldn't some harm be done?  Worst still, supposing (and it can happen) there is no response at all to Facebook’s request for a birthday greeting for a person, and this lack of response is seen by everyone. Damn, was I hurt.  No, no, it wasn’t me…just a Freudian slip.  But it could happen and the damage to one’s ego could be debilitating. There was nothing I could do against this corporate giant, yet, I kept the faith.

        But then, my fairy godmother began to slip away from my life when I received this notice accompanying my phone bill which stated, “If your phone is out of order, or if it doesn’t work, please call us.  Your business is very important to us.”  Or when I noticed that a roll of toilet paper is now shorter by an inch, or that sugar is now sold in 4lb bags rather than the standard 5lb...and we still pay the same price.  Perhaps the manufactures hope we wouldn’t notice?  Or when they tell us that the new tires are closer to the rims because it’s more stylish, and not because it’s cheaper to make and therefore more prone to damage and horrific accidents?  Or that the half gallon ice cream is no longer half gallon but is package to look like one?  I could go on but I’m an optimist even after all that.  I still sense that my fairy godmother was stronger than corporations and was still looking after me.  

          It was that one fine morning when the doctor told me that if I put any more salt in my food, I would die; that if i just take even a tiny bite of a sugared doughnut, I would definitely die; and forget about anything fried or eat anything that had legs, and as for coffee and sex, forget it.  It was then, in that moment, that my beautiful fairy godmother started to fade away and as I walked out of the doctor's office, she finally disappeared somewhere and died.