How to Paint.

 

                                                How to Paint.....a painting

        I had to clarify the title or you would think that it's " how to paint a house, or how to paint a ceiling, or how to paint a reputation so black that no one would ever hire him", and so on...

       The basics of painting are simple.  First, find a surface, any surface.  It could be a wall, a sheet of metal, a wooden panel or a stretched piece of canvas.  Anything you can paint on without getting arrested.  On to that surface you spread a mixture of powder and glue.  The powder is called tempera, and it comes in many colors and is sold in round cartons...sometimes square ones.  You choose the color you want and mix it with the glue.  You mix the powder with glue because if you don't, the powder won't stick and all the colors will disappear from the surface with the first breeze.  Imagine having a whole day's work gone just because you happen to open a window. 

       The glue could be an oil, a liquid latex, an egg yolk, gelatin from boiled rabbit bones, or a gum Arabic. You could be bourgeois and buy paint already mixed and in tubes, but what's the fun in that?  No fun at all.

       The next step is to get something to spread this colored glue on to the painting surface.  Most artists do not want to use their bare hands because they're afraid that some of the colors may cause brain damage. That is silliest thing I have ever heard.  I've done it with my hands for years and I haven't suffered any ill affects.  True, I lose my balance every now and then, and I forget where I live, but doesn't everybody?  If you're going to be a sissy about the whole thing, you can use sprayers, or spatulas, or whatever.  Brushes are good too.

       Now comes the hard part.  And that is, what to paint?  Well, it depends on what you have to say.  It is important that you have something to say, otherwise, you might paint for years and years and have said absolutely nothing.  I repeat, it is very important that you have something to say, or your work will have that empty look....
    
       In conclusion, painting is a lot of fun.  People in public institutions do it all the time, and look how happy they are.  You should be so happy.  By following these simple instructions, you will be well on your way toward painting your very first picture.  Good luck.

       My next essay will be on something I know nothing about.  And that is as it should be. Hope to see you here whenever you feel depress.   And if you're not depress, read it anyway for no other reason than that it's free (of course, that doesn't mean that your time isn't precious and I am making light of it...I'm beginning to sound apologetic.  So, thank you).