U.S. Senator Bushinton has agreed to give us an exclusive interview without prearrange questions, a courageous gesture to say the least. He is now entering our studio with his entourage ........Right here, Senator, here facing the cameras. First, let me thank you on behalf of the network for coming here, and in all honesty, we didn't think you would make it.
Why wouldn't I? I told you I would be here. and here I am. I am a man of my word, more than I can say for some of my colleagues. And yes, before you ask, I am announcing my candidacy for the President of these United States.
And are we to understand that you are running as an Independent?
Yes, and it's time an Independent holds this great office. Too long have the two-party system control this great country of ours, and look at the mess we're in. Jobs have been given away, our factories crumbled into dust, our skill craftsmen and journeymen unemployed, and if we have a war with (you know who), we'll be unable to equip our own army, because the only supplier will be (you know who)! It is a disgrace, I tell you. If I'm elected president, I would halt all trade with (you know who) and trade only with our friends, like South and North Korea Viet Nam, Cambodia, Japan, the Philippines....
Excuse me, excuse me Senator, but did you say "North Korea"?
Yes, I said North Korea. And there's good reason. Times have changed. It's to our benefit if North Korea was our friend and trading partner. Being so far away, we can hardly be a threat to them, whereas, they have on their border a historical enemy who might be friendly now but has the power to crush them without compunction. There is no such thing as a friendly rattlesnake when it's next to your feet. It is to their self interest, to sign a treaty with us and the rest of the far eastern nations. In fact, if I'm elected, I will introduce a new bill, similar to that of NATO, that will kick start a new alliance with our slant eyed...uh.. strike that.....with our far east countries. It will be known as the Far Asian Rim Treaty, or F.A.R.T. This Treaty will coordinate our......what is it, young man?
I'm terribly sorry. I don't mean to interrupt, but aren't these initials..?.
What's wrong with the initials? If it bothers you, we can change the wording of the treaty, but I can see nothing wrong with the word "Asian". Do you think it has a racial connotation?
Never mind, Senator, forgive me for interrupting, please continue.
Yes, with this treaty, we can coordinate all military activities under one command: us. It will insure peace and serve as a bulwark against (you know who).
Wouldn't South Korea object to joining North Korea in...FART ?
Why should they? They all look alike. They speak the same language. They have the same common enemy (you know who). Now's the time for us to approach North Korea to sign up for my proposed Far Asian Rim Treaty and begin trading with us, and for them to get all those goodies they've been having to do without.
Most of those "goodies" are made in China.
See, you've made my point! Since they will be buying from us instead of (you know who), then we will have to open up our factories again, form management teams, hire American workers and tell (you know who) where to go.
Isn't this what President Obama is trying to do right now?
No, his plan is different.
In what way?
It's called something else.
I see.....But North Korea is a Totalitarian state that suppresses its own people. Isn't this against our principles to recognize such a state?
Are you saying we've never gone down that road before?
No...but what about ISIS?
What about them?
What would you do about ISIS if you were elected president?
I'm glad you ask. Uh...Your audience is aware that I was not given the questions in advance?
Yes, they've been told, and we added that it was very courageous of you to venture into this unfamiliar territory.
Good....What I would do with ISIS? I would proposal an alliance similar to the one with North Korea. Those people, I admit, are a bit psycho, and have a tendency to be brutal, but they do represent law and order. Let's face it. We're not gonna stop their religious wars. We just barely stopped ours and, if I'm not mistaken, it's still going on between Catholics and Protestants in Ireland. And you know what, ISIS lives a lot closer to Russia and China. Those fanatic Muslims may hate us, true, but only because We Are There. It has never been America's policy to persecute Muslims. Guess which countries do. Once we pull out, guess who their attentions will be turned to. Not us, I believe. Let us leave them alone. If their own people are not willing to fight against a Religious autocracy, then what damn business do we have being there? Better they fight it out among themselves. It's their religious war, not ours. We will go in peace as long as they leave the Jewish State alone,
But isn't that the point? They won't, and are constantly threatening the state of Israel.
ISIS's entire army would hardly fill the main mess hall in Ford Ord. And bullies do not attack people who would stand up against them. They posture and threaten with little acts of brutality, but it's all for show. Once they control the Arab states, it will not be in their interest to continue being antagonistic to us. Like all nations, they will negotiate. As long as we keep our most trusted friend, Israel, strong and prosperous, ISIS will turn their attention elsewhere (like you know where).
Are you certain about that?
Let's put this in a different context. In ONE year more people were killed in California car accidents than all the servicemen killed in the entire TEN YEARS of the Iraq war. During 2014, 33,000 people died horribly in car crashes in the U.S., all innocent men, women and children. Why aren't we raising hell about that? Why, in heavens name, are we so focus on a speck of an organization that is not, by any stretch of my imagination, a threat to us? Why? Because you can arouse a hell of a lot more interest with the tragic beheading of one innocent, than you can about the tragedies of drug usage, forced prostitute, unemployment, and the civil unrest caused by the murder of hundreds of people who happen to be black. People are dying of cancer; millions of our citizens are suffering from Alzheimer's. And our government is worried about the threat posed by a fly speck of an ISIS? Now, that attitude is the HUGE threat to our society. Both parties keep bring our attention to the Middle East. And why is that? Because the very powerful one-per centers, the entrenched political establishment, wants the American people to focus their anger away from domestic problems to that dark skinned Arab who, on the whole, is more morally correct than we are.
Senator, are you really that cynical?
Far from it. I'm just being honest and stating the truth.
You made a statement in the past that "If a politician is honest and truthful, he or she can never hope to be elected." Now, if you are being honest...and truthful, how can you ever hope to be elected? Could you expound on that?
What makes you think I'm being honest and truthful? No, uh... strike that! I now believe in this new world of the internet, that if I tell it like it is, there is enough intelligent people out there to get me elected. I will run my campaign based on honesty and truth, and not on half-truths like some of my opponents.
Half-truths? Can you give us an example?
I can give you a good example. My opponents are accusing me of having business dealings, with the Taliban. I cannot deny it. I have purchase pottery from Ali Hassad, when I was traveling in Iraq inspecting our boys in uniform. I was later informed that selling pottery was only Ali's day job, and at night he was a Taliban. Now, this is what I call a half truth. True, I was doing business with the Taliban, but what was left out was that I had no knowledge of Ali's activities. Ali was pleasant enough. Upon learning of his nocturnal activities, I immediately returned the items and demanded my money back. His wife was kind enough to do so. Ali was too ashamed to face me....they were beautiful pots.
Senator, I don't know what to say. In closing, what do you think of your chances of being nominated?
Are we already done? I still have a lot to say.
As all politicians......but our readers are use to sound-bites, and this interview is getting very long on the tooth. So could you just sum up your platform...
Right! Okay...when I'm elected, I will rise taxes by 30% on those making an income of over half a million a year...and that's just the start. Two, I will make congress pass my FART initiative with no added amendments. And three, I will close our southern borders by laying land minds all along....
I apologize, Senator Bushinton but we'll have to stop here, and again, for the network, we wish you good luck in your bid for the presidency and have a safe journey to wherever you're going.
Why, thank you, and thank you for the opportunity to speak to America.
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