The Golden Age of Trump

                                        The Golden Age of Trump

We’re in the capitol building waiting for an interview with Republican Senator William C. Bushton who has recently bowed out of the race for the presidency.  He is still within Trump’s inner circle and, according to many, has first hand information on what the president-elect is really like and what his future plans are for the nation.   I see Senator Bushton approaching now....

 

          Senator, senator, I’m the reporter from the Democratic Nation and our readers wanted to know more about the newly-elected President, Donald Trump.  Is there any thing you can add to the spectacle? Sir...if you could just spare a moment of your time

          AREN’T YOU THE ONE I GAVE AN INTERVIEW TO A MONTH AGO?  I SEE YOU’VE GOT YOURSELF A NEW JOB WITH THAT LEFT-WING DEMOCRACTIC RAG.  WELL, GOOD FOR YOU.  I LIKE AMBITION IN A PERSON.  SO…HOW CAN I HELP?

          First, let me thank you for your time, senator.  We know you are a very busy man and, speaking for all my readers, I want to express our deep appreciation for all the honest and sincere interviews you have given me in the past...

          YES, YES, GET ON WITH IT.  I DISLIKE GROVELING.

 I wasn’t groveling…sir….uh, senator, could we stay on the subject on what our newly elected leader is really like, and what his future plans are for the nation?

          I’M GAME.  SHOOT.

           We’re wondering why president-elected Trump is showing so much deference toward Putin, a person who, by all accounts, is the most dangerous adversary we have.  Is it because they are so much alike?

          ONE IS NAMED DONALD, THE OTHER VLADIMIR.  TRUMP IS IN PRIVATE BUSINESS WITH A BUSINESS DEGREE AND NO ASSURANCES OF INCOME.  PUTIN IS A LAW SCHOOL GRADUATE, A MEMBER OF THE SECRET POLICE AND, BEING IN THE CIVIL SERVICE ALL HIS LIFE, HIS SALARY IS ASSURED. TRUMP HAS NEVER BEEN RESPONSIBLE FOR A PERSON DYING FROM UNNATURAL CAUSES, WHILE PUTIN IS THE SOURCE FOR MANY PEOPLE DYING FROM UNNATURAL CAUSES.  NO, I DO NOT THINK THEY ARE ALIKE … …EXCEPT THAT BOTH OF THEM NEVER MET A MIRROR THEY DIDN’T LIKE.

          Then why the high regard of Donald Trump for  Vladimir Putin?

          ON THE RECORD?  THERE SEEMS TO BE GREAT CHEMISTRY BETWEEN THE TWO.  IT HAPPENS.  OPPOSITS ATTRACT.

          OFF THE RECORD?  RUMOR MAKING THE ROUNDS THAT PUTIN HAS TAPES, TAKEN YEARS AGO WITH HIDDEN CAMERAS, SHOWING A RECENTLY ELECTED BUSINESS MAN  IN HIS CUPS BEING QUITE PHYSICAL IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE…A VERY, VERY  HUMILATING PIECE OF EVIDENCE…IF YOU GET MY DRIFT.  IT IS SAID THAT PUTIN WAS AN INTELLEGENCE AGENT IN THE KGB AND KNOWS ALL ABOUT HIDDEN CAMERAS AND HOW TO PUT EVIDENCE OF POWERFUL PEOPLE,  ACTING BADLY, TO GOOD USE.

          You mean our newly elected president’s obsequious behavior toward Putin is based on blackmail?

          DID I SAY THAT?  I THOUGHT I SAID IT WAS CHEMICAL?

          You implied it.  Never mind, let’s turn to more important domestic issues.  Trump once stated that we will keep jobs in the US by limiting automation, opening up the coal mines, and scraping the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP).  Isn’t that going backwards into the past?

          DIDN’T HE SAY THAT HE WOULD MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN? WELL?  “AGAIN” IMPLIES SOMETHING HAPPENING IN THE PAST, DOESN’T IT?  AND WE HAVE TO GO BACK THERE TO BE GREAT AGAIN.  AS FOR AUTOMATION, AN INVENTOR ONCE PRESENTED CHAIRMAN MAO A MACHINE THAT WOULD TAKE THE PLACE OF TEN WORKING MEN.  HIS REPLY WAS, “WE WILL USE THIS MACHINE…AS SOON AS WE FIND EMPLOYMENT FOR THE TEN WORKING MEN THE MACHINE HAS REPLACED”.  SIMPLE AS THAT.  TRUMP WILL OUTLAW ANY NEW INVENTION THAT WILL TAKE AWAY JOBS. 

         AS FOR COAL MINES, TRUMP'S THINKING IS THAT WE NEED TO WEAN OURSELVES OFF OIL FROM THE  MIDDLE EAST.  WE HAVE ENOUGH COAL IN THE CENTRAL STATES TO PROVIDE ENERGY FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS.   AND IT WILL PROVIDE JOBS FOR TENS OF THOUSANDS...TRUMP SALIVATED ON THAT THOUGHT.  AS FOR THE ENVIORMENT, WE’VE HAD CYCLES OF GLOBAL WARMING BEFORE.  I AM CONFIDENT THAT TRUMP WILL GET THE BEST MINDS TO SOLVE IT IF IT EVER BECOMES A PROBLEM.

          You don’t think it’s a problem now?

          TRUMP DOESN’T THINK IT’S A PROBLEM.  A LITTLE SMOG HERE, A LITTLE SMOG THERE, SOME CHANGES IN THE WEATHER, A LITTLE SEA RISING, WHAT’S THAT COMPARED TO HAVING AMERICA GREAT AGAIN?  BESIDES, INLAND PROPERTY MAY SOON BECOME BEACHFRONT, AND WHO’S TO KNOW HOW GREEN AND PROSPEROUS CANADA WILL BE BECAUSE OF GLOBAL WARMING? IF I WERE YOU I WOULD THINK OF INVESTING IN SOME OF THE FROZEN TUNDRA UP NEAR THE NORTH POLE.   AND, JUST THINK, GREENLAND WILL BE TRUE TO ITS NAMESAKE AT LAST.  SEE, YOU HAVE TO LOOK AT THE BRIGHTER SIDE.

          What about the Trans-Pacific Partnership?  We are told that Trump will not sign up on that.  Wouldn’t his veto drive all Far Eastern nations toward trading with China and make them dependent and, thus, subservient to China’s aggressive policies toward us?

          WEREN’T YOU LISTENING?  TRUMP’S VISION IS JOBS, JOBS, AND MORE JOBS.  HAVE YOU EVER BEEN UNEMPLOYED?  IT'S NOT PLEASANT.  WHEN TRUMP  SLAMS SHUT OUR TRADE DOORS TO THE FAR EAST, WE WOULDN’T HAVE ENOUGH WORKERS FOR ALL THE SLOTS OPENING UP HERE IN THE GOOD OLD USA.  BECAUSE OF THE SCARCITY OF WORKERS, WAGES WILL RISE AND SO WILL BENEFITS AND OVERTIME AND UNIONS .  SO WHAT IF THINGS GET A LITTLE EXPENSIVE?  SO WHAT IF WE HAVE TO PAY MORE?  EVERYBODY WILL HAVE A JOB AND WE WILL BE IN MANUFACTURING AGAIN.  DON’T YOU GET IT? WE WILL BE GIVING JOBS BACK TO BLUE COLLARS AND RETOOLING THEM  IN HOW TO MAKE THINGS, INSTEAD OF THEM JUST SITTING ON THEIR ASSES… GETTING SURLY AND DEPRESS.  OUR FACTORIES WILL BE REOPENED.  WE CAN MAKE STUFF, LIKE TOYS, WEAPONS, CLOTHES.  WE WILL BE GIVING WORKERS BACK THEIR EARNING POWER, THEIR DIGNITY, AND YES,THEIR SELF-RESPECT.  THEN, AND ONLY THEN, WILL AMERICA  BE TRULY GREAT AGAIN..

         AS FOR CHINA’S AGGRESSIVE POLICIES TOWARD US, WELL, IF PUSH COMES TO SHOVE, TRUMP HAS HIS FINGER ON THE RED BUTTON AND CHINA KNOWS FOR SURE THAT HE WILL USE IT.  IN FACT, I AM CONFIDENT HE WILL USE IT WHEN NEED BE.  WE ARE TOO GREAT A NATION TO BE PUSHED AROUND.  AND THAT INCLUDES NORTH KOREA. TRUMP THINKS CHINA IS AFRAID OF NORTH KOREA.  IF, AND I EMPHASIS ‘IF,’ WE DROP A NUKE ON NORTH KOREA, CAN YOU IMAGINE THE CHAOS WHEN HOARDS OF NORTH KOREAN REFUGEES FLOOD THE PLAINS OF NORTHEN CHINA…IT WILL BE AN UNIMAGINABLE DELUGE OF HUNGRY AND DESPERATELY WILD AND VERY ANGRY PEOPLE.  AND IT CAN HAPPEN.  THEY WILL NOT FLOOD SOUTH KOREA BECAUSE TRUMP WILL BUILD A GREAT WALL BETWEEN THE NORTH AND THE SOUTH.  HE IS A GREAT BUILDER, YOU KNOW.  HE IS KNOWN FOR THE GREAT WALLS HE PLANS TO BUILD.

          My God, you’re talking about atomic warfare, the destruction of entire cultures and even of the human race. 

          HEY! DON’T GET SERIOUS ON ME, SON.  COME ON, THIS WILL BE THE GOLDEN AGE OF OUR COUNTRY.  BE HAPPY.  TRUMP IS THE ONLY MAN WHO TRULY UNDERSTANDS HOW POWERFUL WE REALLY ARE.   AND HE KNOWS HOW TO USE THAT POWER.  OTHERS WILL FEAR US BECAUSE THEY KNOW TRUMP DOESN’T FOOL AROUND.  AND HE’S WILLING TO PUT UP, NOT SHUT UP. 

          Well, senator, I think I have enough to scare our readers for the time being.  Thanks again for your honest opinions and your revelations on the president-elect's present way of  thinking.

          ANYTIME.  SAY…DID I TELL YOU THAT I JUST FINISHED BUILDING THAT BOMB SHELTER WITH THE BUILT IN BAR?  WHEN YOU HAVE A CHANCE, YOU OUGHT TO COME SEE IT.  IT’S AN OPEN INVITATION.  YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE HOW REALLY CLASSY LOOKING IT IS.