The Attributes of Heaven and Hell

                                           Heaven and Hell

                     (The second part of an Interview with Mrs. God)

       Let me begin by asking, is there really a heaven... or even a hell? 

      "CERTAINLY THERE IS A HEAVEN.  THERE SHOULD BE COMPENSATIONS FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE FOLLOWED HIS PRECEPTS, AND I THOUGHT HEAVEN WOULD DO NICELY." 

       If there is a heaven, then I presume there is a hell? 

       NO, NO, THERE IS NO HELL.  HELL IS ONLY A THREAT TO KEEP PEOPLE IN LINE.   ...ALTHOUGH FOR MANY, IT DOESN'T SEEM TO DO ANY GOOD.  THERE IS NO PUNISHMENT, ONLY REWARDS."
    

       Then where is the punishment for those who commit horrific crimes against humanity?

       "OH, YOU MEAN PEOPLE LIKE CALIGULA, GENGHIS KHAN, ADOLF HITLER, THAT SORT OF PEOPLE?" 

       Yes, that sort of people.

      "WELL, IF WE LOWER THEM SLOWLY INTO BOILING WATER AND THEY SCREAM FOR ALL ETERNITY, WOULDN'T WE BE AS SADISTIC AS THEY, AND WOULD THAT REALLY CHANGE ANYTHING?  WHEN SUCH EVIL PEOPLE DIE, THERE WILL BE NO HEAVEN FOR THEM.  AT THEIR DEATH, THEY WILL JUST CEASE TO EXIST, AND THAT WOULD BE HORRIBLE ENOUGH.  THE HELL YOU'RE THINKING OF EXIST ONLY ON EARTH,  CREATED BY PEOPLE WITH FREE WILL.  NOW, THOSE DOING THEIR BEST TO FOLLOW GOD'S EDICTS WILL GO TO HEAVEN."  
   
      What do you mean by doing their best? 

      "NOTHING IS PERFECT, NOT EVEN US GODS.  WE UNDERSTAND THE DIFFICULTY IN BEING HUMAN SO THE TERMS FOR ENTERING HEAVEN IS QUITE LIBERAL.  IN OTHER WORDS, IF YOU HAD EVERY INTENTION OF BEING A GOOD PERSON, THEN YOU'RE IN." 

       My god, if I knew that, I could have had so much more fun with my life! 

      "YES, YOU COULD HAVE...."
    
       Okay, my next question... what is heaven like? We go off into the sunset and play golf for all eternity? And suppose I met my mother in heaven and I'm a lot older, wouldn't there be a problem?  And supposing my spouse dies and I grow very much older before I pass on?  What happens when we meet again?  We would have nothing in common. 

       "YOU HAVE A MISTAKEN NOTION OF WHAT HEAVEN IS LIKE. IT IS BEYOND DESCRIPTION IT HAS NEITHER TIME NOR SPACE.  YOUR MOTHER WILL ALWAYS APPEAR TO YOU AS YOUR MOTHER AND YOU WILL ALWAYS APPEAR TO HER AS THE CHILD SHE LOVES.  SAME GOES FOR ALL YOUR RELATIONSHIPS.  YOU WILL ALWAYS APPEAR TO OTHERS IN THE BEST STAGE OF YOUR LIFE AND VICE VERSA.  IT IS A SIMPLE MATTER FOR US TO ARRANGE.  YOU WILL ALWAYS APPEAR AS A FATHER TO YOUR SON AND AS A SON TO YOUR FATHER, AND SO ON."
      AS FAR AS GLOWING SUNSETS, AND PLAYING GOLF, IT'S ACCORDING TO WHERE YOU WANT TO BE AND   WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.  THE DIMENSON OF TIME DOES NOT EXIST.  THERE IS NO TIME.  IT WILL ALWAYS BE WHAT IT WILL ALWAYS BE, AND I HOPE YOU CAN GRASP THAT CONCEPT.....WHICH I DOUBT." 

      You mean I can be where I want to be, with whom ever I want, and at any time I choose? 

      "THAT'S WHAT HEAVEN IS ALL ABOUT."  
    
       There is one thing I'm curious about.  Of the many emissaries that you sent down to earth,  Which do both of you favor the most? 

       "LIKE ALL PARENTS, WE FAVOR ALL OUR CHILDREN, SOME MORE THAN OTHERS, AND THAT IS ALL I WILL SAY."

       Okay, here's my last question.

      "YOU HAVE ANOTHER QUESTION?  MAKE IT QUICK, I HAVE TO LEAVE."

       I'm beginning to understand....both of you are just a part of One and therefore You are God, period.

       "NOW YOU'RE GETTING IT." 

       My question is...do you have a boss?  I mean is there someone above you?"

        HOW QUAINT, HOW UTTERLY  PROVINCIAL TO ASK SUCH A QUESTION.  YOUR IMAGINATION IS EARTH BOUND SO YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY THINK OUT OF THAT CONCRETE BOX OF YOURS.  IN YOUR VERY, VERY  LIMITED INTELLIGENCE, YOU CAN NEVER  GRASP THE COMPLEXITY OF US" 

       Well, I can try.

       "REALLY?  WELL DON'T....WE ARE A FORCE UNTO OURSELVES!  SOME THINGS YOU WILL NEVER COMPREHEND."  NOW I MUST GO." 

       I really don't know what to say, except on behalf of all humanity, thank you for speaking to us, and for giving us the time of day.  Thank you again. 

       "YOU'RE WELCOME."

 

Interview with Mrs. God

                                      Interview with Mrs. God

         We're busy here trying to catch Mrs. God leaving the interstellar clouds near Andromeda, a place she doesn't visit often so it's now or never.  Here She comes...I'll try to get her attention.  Mrs. God! Mrs. God!  Over her...by the Direct TV satellite.  Would you mind answering a few question while we have you here?

       "I DON'T MIND AS LONG AS IT'S QUICK." 
 
       Well then, let's start with what most viewers would like to know, and that is: does your Husband have a sense of humor?  

      "OF COURSE HE HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR.  DIDN'T HE GIVE HUMANS 'FREE WILL?  IF THAT ISN'T HAVING A SENSE OF HUMOR HERE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS."  

      How is giving 'free will' humorous?

      "OH, HERE WE ARE  DRIFTING IN THE MIDDLE OF ETERNITY AND YOU WANT ME TO GIVE YOU AN EXPLANATION?  OKAY. I ONLY HAVE TIME TO GIVE YOU THE SHORT VERSION.
     FIRST, HE CREATED LIFE ON THIS TINY ROCK CALLED EARTH AND TOLD LIFE THAT THEY WERE ON THEIR OWN.  EONS PASSED (MICRO-SECONDS TO US) AND SOME LIFE   SURVIVED AND SOME DIDN'T.  SOME LIFE FORMS, BY WAY OF  FREE ENTERPRISE AND THE DESTRUCTION OF OTHER LIFE FORMS, MADE IT TO THE TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN AND DEVELOPED INTELLIGENCE.  WE CALLED THEM HUMANS. . .   SOON, THE SMARTEST ONES BEGAN ASKING WHY THEY WERE THERE, AND SO MY HUSBAND SENT DOWN EMISSARIES TO TELL THEM WHY.  THEY WERE THERE TO WORSHIP HIM, FOLLOW HIS EDICTS, AND MAKE HIM PROUD.  THE CATCH WAS HE ALSO GRANTED THEM FREE WILL, SO THEY HAD A CHOICE TO EITHER FOLLOW HIS COMMANDMENTS OR NOT.  HE EVEN SENT HUMAN EMISSARIES, ONE WITH A STONE TABLET WITH  HIS EDICTS CHISELED ON IT AND  SOME OTHERS HE SENT WITH INSTRUCTION BOOKS."
   
        Where is the humor in all this?

       "I'M GETTING TO THAT.  MY HUSBAND KNEW THAT BY GIVING THEM FREE WILL, MANY WOULD NOT FOLLOW HIS COMMANDMENTS: HE KNEW MANY WOULD CHOOSE GREED, PREJUDICES, AND PRIDE, WHICH WOULD EVENTUALLY RESULT IN CATASTOPHIC WARS .  HE LOVED TO PLAY SOLDIER, YOU SEE, AND EARTH WAS HIS BOARD GAME.  IT PROVIDED ENDLESS  AMUSEMENTS FOR HIM.  HIS BOON SEEMED TO ROB THE SMARTEST HUMANS OF ALL COMMON SENSE AND THEY ALL WENT ABOUT SELF DESTRUCTING."

       You mean he finds humor in seeing misery and pain? 

      "I CAN'T COMMENT ON THAT, BUT REMEMBER, HE DID GIVE THEM FREEDOM TO DO WHATEVER THEY WANT.  NO MATTER WHAT EVIL IS DONE, OR HOW TRAGIC THE RESULTS, HE WILL NOT INTERVENE.  HE DOES GET A CHUCKLE WHEN SMART HUMANS ACT SO SILLY. 
     BUT I INSISTED THAT NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS THERE SHOULD BE SOME COMPENSATIONS FOR THE EONS OF  ENJOYMENT THEY PROVIDED WHILE PLAYING OUT THEIR EGO-CENTRIC PARTS ON HIS LITTLE EARTH......AND TO MY SURPRISE, HE AGREED." 

      What sort of compensations are we talking about? 

      "YOU KNOW, A HEAVEN AND HELL, A JUSTICE FOR ALL, THAT SORT OF THING." 

       So is there such a thing as heaven or hell, and if there is, how does it work?

      "IS THAT YOUR NEXT QUESTION?  SO HAVE WE SETTLED THE FACT THAT MY HUSBAND, MR. GOD, DOES HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR?' 

       Yes we have, and we are ready to move on, if You are.

       "ALRIGHTY, WE'LL DO JUST THAT"

    

The Gender of God

                                          The Gender of God
  
        Most everything alive, or not, come in pairs, like pants, doves, book ends, and simple people like us.  And what can we surmise from that?  That God must be paired also, or in other words, married.  It could answer a lot of questions concerning the nature and behavior of God.  If there were two of them, then one would be male and the other female.  Mr.God would be more dominant: taking all the responsibility for wars, famine, pestilence, and senseless slaughter of innocents, like cows, fish, chickens, and small infants of any species.  Mrs. God, on the other hand, would be responsible for love, loyalty, kindness, forgiveness and charity for all, including things she abhor, like things who do bad things in their name. 

        Mr. God would be the one who created this universe to show His power and Glory.  Earth was probably singled out to be His amusement and hobby, where He finds endless entertainment in the antics of his mirror images and all the creatures that move about.  Mrs. God, His equal partner in all things, would do the decorating, so that colors would match, and the trees be green, the dirt be brown, and the sky be blue. She did the minor things, like giving us the seasons, senses to know the difference, and empathy so we can cry and have passions of sorts. 

      Her really big job would be to set limits on His arbitrary behavior, and control His temper tantrums that seem to erupt every four billion years or so, which, by the way, produce our universe.   Unbeknownst to us, there are other universes existing out there much older than ours created by Mr. God.  These universes do keep both of them busy.  And because we are mirror images of Mr. and Mrs. God, we did inherit His ego and think our universe, with its billions and billions of galaxies, as the only one really in existence.  It isn't.

      There are many other things that could prove the hypotheis of God's gender, but that would require a 5000 word essay.  You should be able to flesh out the details of the hypothesis yourself.  My next essay would be that of having an exclusive interview with Mrs. God (Mr. God would not consent to be interviewed..and for good reasons...which I cannot state here).

    

The Existence of God

                                       The Existence of God

     .....and is God ubiquitous?  The second part, we'll discuss later on. But before we can even delve into the existence of something so omnipotent, we must first create an artificial parameter so our mind can grasp and wrestle with the theories on the existence or non-existence of God, and a notion of what It is...or isn't.  Let's begin with the supposition that God does exist...because WE exist.  If It does exist, what would It's individual attributes be?  For instance, if God does exist, has It a physical presence in our space and time?
  
         In other words...does God have a shape?...or no shape, or just a wisp of air, or some nebulous clouds drifting through the universe?  Perhaps It consists of pure energy and has no form whatsoever.  But God, being the Creator, has only Itself to model from, and since God is the model, and the universe is filled with shapes rather than wind and bursts of light, God, presumably, must have a shape.  Now, if God has a shape, is it in 3- dimensional or just a plain flat two-dimensional?  I am not being facetious.

       Using the above conclusions on why God must have a shape, then it follows that God would most likely be 3-dimensional rather than just being flat because flat does not exist in the universe.  Even a razor's edge has a thickness.  And if God is 3-dimensional, then its shape and form must be in a perfect state.  And what is more perfect than a circle?  A line wouldn't do because there's too manly arguments against God being a line.  And if the circle is 3-dimensional, than God would most logically be a ball.  A ball is the ultimate perfection of a shape: no extending protuberances, no mucus, or damp orifices to disrupt its smooth surface, or strands of messy hair to distract from its pureness.  Base on the above assumption, God would, indeed, be a ball, a very large, smooth ball.  Never mind what color the ball may be because...

       ..if It is ball-shaped, then why aren't we all rolling around with the greatest of ease?  Since God has only Itself to model from, why aren't the earth infested with shinny ball bearings, all different sizes and colors, darting to and fro, gliding with slick purpose, and mating with a click?  It's because God's ego wouldn't shape the top of It's food chain to anything but It's own mirror image.  Yes, I hate to say it but I would venture to guess that God looks a lot like us, ungainly, malodorous, and obnoxious. And it seems to me that since we are the only ones that pay God any mind, He must be like us in more ways than one.

     Now, that we have come this far, the next question would be...has it a gender?  Why do you think I keep referring to God as It, instead of Him, or Her?  Because I really haven't settle in my mind, as yet, the gender of God, if It has one.  The Christian Bible, the Koran, and the Torah, are all male dominated publications, so there would be an enormous bias toward a male God with a flowing white beard and a scowling countenance of disapproval
( most religious paintings display God showing It's great disappointment with us.  The reason for that, I believe, is that most great artists rather be painting something else, and took their frustration out on the painting.  I could be wrong).  Buddha's Tripitaka does not affirm or deny the existence of God, let alone It's gender. 

     I see that I have reached my 500 words or less.  I will continue on next week when we can further discuss the gender of God, and It's natural color...if time permits, ?  Thank you for reading.