Interview with Mrs. God

                                      Interview with Mrs. God

         We're busy here trying to catch Mrs. God leaving the interstellar clouds near Andromeda, a place she doesn't visit often so it's now or never.  Here She comes...I'll try to get her attention.  Mrs. God! Mrs. God!  Over her...by the Direct TV satellite.  Would you mind answering a few question while we have you here?

       "I DON'T MIND AS LONG AS IT'S QUICK." 
 
       Well then, let's start with what most viewers would like to know, and that is: does your Husband have a sense of humor?  

      "OF COURSE HE HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR.  DIDN'T HE GIVE HUMANS 'FREE WILL?  IF THAT ISN'T HAVING A SENSE OF HUMOR HERE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS."  

      How is giving 'free will' humorous?

      "OH, HERE WE ARE  DRIFTING IN THE MIDDLE OF ETERNITY AND YOU WANT ME TO GIVE YOU AN EXPLANATION?  OKAY. I ONLY HAVE TIME TO GIVE YOU THE SHORT VERSION.
     FIRST, HE CREATED LIFE ON THIS TINY ROCK CALLED EARTH AND TOLD LIFE THAT THEY WERE ON THEIR OWN.  EONS PASSED (MICRO-SECONDS TO US) AND SOME LIFE   SURVIVED AND SOME DIDN'T.  SOME LIFE FORMS, BY WAY OF  FREE ENTERPRISE AND THE DESTRUCTION OF OTHER LIFE FORMS, MADE IT TO THE TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN AND DEVELOPED INTELLIGENCE.  WE CALLED THEM HUMANS. . .   SOON, THE SMARTEST ONES BEGAN ASKING WHY THEY WERE THERE, AND SO MY HUSBAND SENT DOWN EMISSARIES TO TELL THEM WHY.  THEY WERE THERE TO WORSHIP HIM, FOLLOW HIS EDICTS, AND MAKE HIM PROUD.  THE CATCH WAS HE ALSO GRANTED THEM FREE WILL, SO THEY HAD A CHOICE TO EITHER FOLLOW HIS COMMANDMENTS OR NOT.  HE EVEN SENT HUMAN EMISSARIES, ONE WITH A STONE TABLET WITH  HIS EDICTS CHISELED ON IT AND  SOME OTHERS HE SENT WITH INSTRUCTION BOOKS."
   
        Where is the humor in all this?

       "I'M GETTING TO THAT.  MY HUSBAND KNEW THAT BY GIVING THEM FREE WILL, MANY WOULD NOT FOLLOW HIS COMMANDMENTS: HE KNEW MANY WOULD CHOOSE GREED, PREJUDICES, AND PRIDE, WHICH WOULD EVENTUALLY RESULT IN CATASTOPHIC WARS .  HE LOVED TO PLAY SOLDIER, YOU SEE, AND EARTH WAS HIS BOARD GAME.  IT PROVIDED ENDLESS  AMUSEMENTS FOR HIM.  HIS BOON SEEMED TO ROB THE SMARTEST HUMANS OF ALL COMMON SENSE AND THEY ALL WENT ABOUT SELF DESTRUCTING."

       You mean he finds humor in seeing misery and pain? 

      "I CAN'T COMMENT ON THAT, BUT REMEMBER, HE DID GIVE THEM FREEDOM TO DO WHATEVER THEY WANT.  NO MATTER WHAT EVIL IS DONE, OR HOW TRAGIC THE RESULTS, HE WILL NOT INTERVENE.  HE DOES GET A CHUCKLE WHEN SMART HUMANS ACT SO SILLY. 
     BUT I INSISTED THAT NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS THERE SHOULD BE SOME COMPENSATIONS FOR THE EONS OF  ENJOYMENT THEY PROVIDED WHILE PLAYING OUT THEIR EGO-CENTRIC PARTS ON HIS LITTLE EARTH......AND TO MY SURPRISE, HE AGREED." 

      What sort of compensations are we talking about? 

      "YOU KNOW, A HEAVEN AND HELL, A JUSTICE FOR ALL, THAT SORT OF THING." 

       So is there such a thing as heaven or hell, and if there is, how does it work?

      "IS THAT YOUR NEXT QUESTION?  SO HAVE WE SETTLED THE FACT THAT MY HUSBAND, MR. GOD, DOES HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR?' 

       Yes we have, and we are ready to move on, if You are.

       "ALRIGHTY, WE'LL DO JUST THAT"