The Gender of God

                                          The Gender of God
  
        Most everything alive, or not, come in pairs, like pants, doves, book ends, and simple people like us.  And what can we surmise from that?  That God must be paired also, or in other words, married.  It could answer a lot of questions concerning the nature and behavior of God.  If there were two of them, then one would be male and the other female.  Mr.God would be more dominant: taking all the responsibility for wars, famine, pestilence, and senseless slaughter of innocents, like cows, fish, chickens, and small infants of any species.  Mrs. God, on the other hand, would be responsible for love, loyalty, kindness, forgiveness and charity for all, including things she abhor, like things who do bad things in their name. 

        Mr. God would be the one who created this universe to show His power and Glory.  Earth was probably singled out to be His amusement and hobby, where He finds endless entertainment in the antics of his mirror images and all the creatures that move about.  Mrs. God, His equal partner in all things, would do the decorating, so that colors would match, and the trees be green, the dirt be brown, and the sky be blue. She did the minor things, like giving us the seasons, senses to know the difference, and empathy so we can cry and have passions of sorts. 

      Her really big job would be to set limits on His arbitrary behavior, and control His temper tantrums that seem to erupt every four billion years or so, which, by the way, produce our universe.   Unbeknownst to us, there are other universes existing out there much older than ours created by Mr. God.  These universes do keep both of them busy.  And because we are mirror images of Mr. and Mrs. God, we did inherit His ego and think our universe, with its billions and billions of galaxies, as the only one really in existence.  It isn't.

      There are many other things that could prove the hypotheis of God's gender, but that would require a 5000 word essay.  You should be able to flesh out the details of the hypothesis yourself.  My next essay would be that of having an exclusive interview with Mrs. God (Mr. God would not consent to be interviewed..and for good reasons...which I cannot state here).